Hi There...
I hope this is helpful.
We need to make a decision. We have opted out of two churches for a couple of basic family reasons and have yet to really decide on where we wish to attend. We are wrestling with a number of different issues, including theology, mission, vision, and style. This decision has a lot to do with the kids too, but that may be another blog another day.
It occurred to me...
It was far easier for us to say "no" to the churches we left
Than to say "yes" to any of the churches we have been attended.
Easier to say no than to say yes. Now that sounds contradictory.
Why it isn't is wrapped up in the image we have of a local church. You don't just attend, you become part of the fabric of the place and people. You get involved, identified, and pigeonholed. There's the rub, pigeonholed.
The is no "hole" we want to be stuck into. There is too much to life and our world to be limited by the definition of the church we attend. Isn't that crazy? It is the way we think though. I'm afraid to say "yes" because it will mean that I give of myself, my tithe, and my family to the mission and vision of that local church.
You see, it is much easier to say "no" than it is to say "yes".
So, let's say "yes" today or some day soon, eh?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Parenting the 8, 10 & 12 Year Old Leader
I'll give the bottom line first.
My vision for my children includes self-sufficiency,
and that they would lead by making the world a better place for others.
I desire my children to accomplish the tasks of everyday life and then some.
Now, how about my kids?
My 8 year old needs me to stay with her through the self-discipline stage until it becomes a habit. Her chores are meant to do more than keep the house clean on a weekly basis, they are a tool to help her gain some control of her own actions.
My 10 year old has learned that the obnoxious task must be done, now she is learning the lesson of quality. She needs me to insist on quality control and perseverance. Do the job right and it stays done longer. Her chores are a tool to help her gain a level of pride in her accomplishments now.
My 12 year old is learning to go above and beyond in his actions. My role with him is to do quality control and open his eyes to optional things to do to enhance our world. He has the option of doing them, but to see them and take initiative is my goal. He is just now learning that when he does well it is good for other people, and when he goes beyond it helps him more than it does others. His chores are an opportunity for growth.
Why is this important? Because as adults they will exhibit the level of maturity regarding their functionality based on their self-sufficiency and ability to get things done in a timely manner on their own.
I'm watching this play out at work, and am once again committing myself to guiding my children into the realm where they are more than "good employees". I want my kids to lead in making life better for everyone, even at work.
How about you?
My vision for my children includes self-sufficiency,
and that they would lead by making the world a better place for others.
I desire my children to accomplish the tasks of everyday life and then some.
Now, how about my kids?
My 8 year old needs me to stay with her through the self-discipline stage until it becomes a habit. Her chores are meant to do more than keep the house clean on a weekly basis, they are a tool to help her gain some control of her own actions.
My 10 year old has learned that the obnoxious task must be done, now she is learning the lesson of quality. She needs me to insist on quality control and perseverance. Do the job right and it stays done longer. Her chores are a tool to help her gain a level of pride in her accomplishments now.
My 12 year old is learning to go above and beyond in his actions. My role with him is to do quality control and open his eyes to optional things to do to enhance our world. He has the option of doing them, but to see them and take initiative is my goal. He is just now learning that when he does well it is good for other people, and when he goes beyond it helps him more than it does others. His chores are an opportunity for growth.
Why is this important? Because as adults they will exhibit the level of maturity regarding their functionality based on their self-sufficiency and ability to get things done in a timely manner on their own.
I'm watching this play out at work, and am once again committing myself to guiding my children into the realm where they are more than "good employees". I want my kids to lead in making life better for everyone, even at work.
How about you?
8, 10 & 12 Year Old Leadership
Work is throwing a curve ball again. But that's not what is important. Life is always throwing curve balls.
But what work is showing about leadership reminds me of my younger kids and their personal leadership ability.
My 8 year old has chores, knows she has to do them, but is too distracted by her Polly Pockets and little princesses to finish those household jobs. So we end up supervising her intensly until the chore is done. She hates it because the lure of the dolly calls! But she is young and learning. The chore must be done for the family to work, the chore has a time limit for completion, and her time is her own after she shakes the six rugs we ask her to do.
My 10 year old knows her chores, and does her chores, but her quality level is suspect. She wants to be done so she can read, run or whatever. So her pet's cage may be cleaned, but was the litter changed? Her room may look clean, but what does the closed door to the closet hide? We have to check on her from time to time and inspect the final outcome. She is getting the knack of personal leadership.
My 12 year old knows his chores, knows the quality level and most often produces. He still balks at the yucky jobs, like vacuuming the loose dog hair in the garage (does yours shed like mad in the spring?). But for the most part, he does a fine job of doing what needs to be done. We don't need to exert much supervision except for the final inspection.
These three are demonstrating a spectrum of personal leadership essential for daily functioning. What level are you?
Capable but distracted? Easily off task?
Capable but compromised quality?
Capable and trustworthy (mostly)?
The next level is one I pray for each child to exhibit. An older daughter is now able to do the chores at a quality level that is acceptable. However she also is adding to her life through the exercise of personal leadership. She adds those things, skills, and abilities that will make her life better. She is learning to ignore those things that would pull her down, or reject them when their caustic nature becomes apparent. She surprises us when she blesses my wife with a fruit smoothy. She normally doesn't need supervision, but adds to the household of her own free will.
Now there is a goal worth praying for you children's personal development. "Someday, son, you will have the chance to use the special gifts God has blessed you with to build your family and yourself up."
Independent, productive, additive, blessing. Now there is a vision for my children that I need to keep in front of me for the long haul.
But what work is showing about leadership reminds me of my younger kids and their personal leadership ability.
My 8 year old has chores, knows she has to do them, but is too distracted by her Polly Pockets and little princesses to finish those household jobs. So we end up supervising her intensly until the chore is done. She hates it because the lure of the dolly calls! But she is young and learning. The chore must be done for the family to work, the chore has a time limit for completion, and her time is her own after she shakes the six rugs we ask her to do.
My 10 year old knows her chores, and does her chores, but her quality level is suspect. She wants to be done so she can read, run or whatever. So her pet's cage may be cleaned, but was the litter changed? Her room may look clean, but what does the closed door to the closet hide? We have to check on her from time to time and inspect the final outcome. She is getting the knack of personal leadership.
My 12 year old knows his chores, knows the quality level and most often produces. He still balks at the yucky jobs, like vacuuming the loose dog hair in the garage (does yours shed like mad in the spring?). But for the most part, he does a fine job of doing what needs to be done. We don't need to exert much supervision except for the final inspection.
These three are demonstrating a spectrum of personal leadership essential for daily functioning. What level are you?
Capable but distracted? Easily off task?
Capable but compromised quality?
Capable and trustworthy (mostly)?
The next level is one I pray for each child to exhibit. An older daughter is now able to do the chores at a quality level that is acceptable. However she also is adding to her life through the exercise of personal leadership. She adds those things, skills, and abilities that will make her life better. She is learning to ignore those things that would pull her down, or reject them when their caustic nature becomes apparent. She surprises us when she blesses my wife with a fruit smoothy. She normally doesn't need supervision, but adds to the household of her own free will.
Now there is a goal worth praying for you children's personal development. "Someday, son, you will have the chance to use the special gifts God has blessed you with to build your family and yourself up."
Independent, productive, additive, blessing. Now there is a vision for my children that I need to keep in front of me for the long haul.
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