Small Steps

No pictures today, instead a memory.

Every child that has learned to walk has had to learn the terrible reality of gravity. If you stand up you will fall down. Small steps are wee bits of courage that push the fear of falling away.

I see people everywhere that are stumbling as they take small steps and wonder why it is that the rule of gravity continues to exist. For example:

Why is it that someone dreams of another occupation, one they could do well, but never puts their resume in? Never asks for ideas, references or opportunities? Could it be fear of falling?

This is especially appropriate as kids are launched into the real world. I hear the phrase "this isn't the way I expected it to be" or "I'm looking for exactly the right position to come along." Both are stumble steps, they are attempts to say that gravity shouldn't apply, the ground should not be solid, I should be perfect and the world should fit me well.

I have been a lifeguard, a hand trucker, a truss maker, a reject dismantler, a primary care sales rep, an assistant pastor, youth pastor, senior pastor, and a specialty sales rep. I spent fifity years wondering where I fit, and realized I fit in my own skin. God has blessed me as me and given me chances to take in life. He has said come take a walk with me and I'll show you a world you didn't know existed. But, says my Lord, I'll show you on my terms, OK?

Ok Lord. You have been good to me, helping me to walk upright without falling (too often) and I pray that others in my care will launch with the same delight I now know.

Growing

Sometimes "No" is a reality moment.

Most of the time "No" is a terribly difficult word to say.

How much does our desire to be liked, admired, and in touch interfered with the need to say "No"? Way too often.

Today I said "No, I would prefer that that not happen." It meant I had to break an assumption about something as simple as storage.

Crap accumulates. Breeds. Flourishes in the absence of tragedy (such as pitching pieces that are obsolete, obnoxious, and unusable). Like "The Blob" it grows and takes things over. Like the garage.

I like a little clear space in the garage. Well, a lot of clean space. I build cabinets to store as much as possible out of sight. Check out the pick of what I expect things to look like, and then what happens just to one shelf when left alone...

Nope, I don't want 30 cubic feet of "that special find that I can use or sell sometime somewhere down the line." No, I don't want an extra transmission for a car you might want in the future. No, I don't want to store stuff. I don't want to buy stuff. I don't want to be the family garage holding tank. And I don't want to pay for a place to store the stuff either. No.

But... it stops the dreams and ideas of my child. He sees opportunity and I'm in his way. That kinda hurts, both of us.

Or does it define the need for him to have a life separate from the family, to truly be on his own. Is it a goad to prod him to grow, risk, try the very things that will be good for him in the future.

And that is why the "No" is important... even if it comes to something as simple as making room for a "find" in the garage.

There will be a time and place for him to accumulate the stuff. For now, I can't handle the crap and need him to follow through on the growing up before he can manage it on his own terms.

Tough, but I had to learn the same lesson with my 1978 era stereo with the big monster speakers at home and at college. How loud, where you gonna put that thing, seriously, don't play that thing so loud when I'm studying!

I'm smiling now, it's a good growing up moment.

Seriously

March 18th. Almost two months for our new President, Obama.

Is this what the American people really voted for?

That's enough of that.

Today, my second grandchild almost came into the world. I had some time with my eldest to just talk while she worked her way out of the hospital. She took a nap too, which proved again that she is very cute when she is sleeping!

The world is upside down for that little unborn grandchild of mine. He doesn't know it, and I hope he doesn't feel it with Momma's hormones cruisng through his vessels. She is a calm one so there is hope.

But how to pray for this soon to be newborn?

I pray for wisdom: slow down, read the signs and think clearly.
I pray for joy: Learn to find your "happy place" and live there
I pray for skill: Find your skill in the world and work it baby!
I pray for health: May his constitution be hale and hearty.
I pray for soul: Find God. Find Him everywhere. Find Him in Jesus.
I pray for family: May it stay together, grow fond with memories, and vibrant to continue.

And that's about enough of that too.
God bless you, Bennie.
Gumpy

Confounding the experts

Splitting hairs. It's a religious propensity.

Is a man born gay or does he learn to be gay?
If illness comes to someone do we say that it serves them right, or that they are so good they don't deserve the pain?

Jesus was in the middle of just such an arguement with the religious teachers of the day as they walked by a man by the wayside. Clearly, this man knew the people strolling by and did not want to interrupt them. He was about to discover whether the societal guilt heaped upon him was valid or not. "Jesus", the teachers demanded, "who sinned that this man was born blind? The man's parents or did he?"

I can hear the taunts against the parents over the years about their supposed sin. I can also hear the well meaning friends of the blind man saying, this isn't your fault, your parent's sin caused your blindness.

I can also hear the mothers and fathers warning their children to stay far away from this sinful dirty man.

And then Jesus...

Jesus goes outside the argument to the reality. Practical, simple, powerful. Jesus used spit, dirt and a command to wash and be healed. All of which was unrequested by the man!

Then Jesus answers the argument: Don't connect circumstance with sin. The debate is irrelevant, he is just blind and this for the glory of God!

Jesus took a religious hairsplitting argument and shattered its power by ACTING.

Through all the rest of the story the man realizes that Jesus is outside and beyond the religious arguments, his parents' cowardice, and his neighbors' rrejection.

Jesus comes to find him, seeks him and the circle is fulfilled in relationship. Healed man and Jesus become one in the end.

Act, rather than have your argument finetuned.

Door

The drastic consequence of the Fall is that man erected a wall without a gate against God.

Jesus invaded our sphere, our safe place, and wanted us to see the immensity of the world/life we have tried to wall out. Then He has called to us - leave the walled in city, join the whole of life - through the gate I've built.

Come.

Reset

A sermon from Octoer 2008 was on confession as a spiritual discipline. The presenter had many good points, and they are available on the net if you wish to find them. But I came away with a slightly different take.

What is confession? Confession is a reset of your soul.

I like the PDA - personal digital assistant. I keep my calendars on them, games, documents, pictures. Just a little computer to me. Every once in a while something gets funky in the programming and it stalls. I have to push a little button and reboot the whole system so it goes back to the original programming to run properly.

Confession is a reset for your soul.

Confession is mainly to God. Life has standards, we know them through our conscience and the law. But we are not sure what the true standards are? Should they be set by society? If measured by society, then why do I sense a reason to be guilty?

Our internal standards were set by the Creator. We sense life should work like X, but Y turns out. Life is all bogged down by fragments of an ill lived life. Sin leaves fragments of failure internally. Those are things Satan latches onto, they are his. Do you want to leave them in your soul?

Jesus declared to a man born blind "You are forgiven" and released the sin frags from his soul. Then he declared "You are healed" and released the illness that no longer had a hold on the man's eyes. This man, once blind and sin stained was now "reset" to God and the world.

James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

Bills

I put the item bills in my calendar on paydays. Depressing.

Kids in college, kids in private school. Wife working to afford private school. Negative cash flow with the house, college, cars, etc. Should we pay for heat this winter?

The election will influence my income next year. Not that I'm going to make a lot of money, but the deductions under the Bush tax plan have been very good to us. Neither candidate seems likely to re-up those when they expire, and a Democratic Congress seems hell bent on "redistributing wealth."

I ain't got wealth, but I'm gonna get screwed.

Gotta pay the bills tonight, and wonder where next term's tuition is going to come from. About a year's worth disappeared in the stock market.

It's a good thing I'm a Christian. Because this too shall pass and I'll look back on life without a checkbook, stocks, or bills. Just an eternal relationship with Jesus and all his buddies, my sisters and brothers in Christ. I can be confident in that issue alone. No bill can take that away. Even if it's overdue.