Graduation

Had a daughter graduate a week ago. My third graduate from High School.

And a week later I'm talking about where is she going to get her Summer job.

The glow just doesn't last very long, does it.

It occurred to me that she may not have ever heard what a unique place she has in my heart. The idea was probably drown out in the thousands of harsh words and silent moments. I have mellowed some in my years. I don't take the shortcut of the man: loudly setting things right by personal force.

Instead I've had to learn that a child needs someone to slow down a little and find out the truth for themselves.

I'm always up a little earlier than anyone else in the family. She has a softball game to get to. We both had a minute. So we shared a moment when I told her how blessed we were to have her as our daughter.

Every child is different. Every child fills a God ordained place in a home. Every child has a destiny to walk through.

Today, she heard from me how she fit that God spot in our family. And always will.

Congratulations, Carissa. Glow forever!

Mother's Day

I'm always wrong, or so I was in the past.

The hat that brought the "Oh really..." look to her face.
The dress that wasn't in style.
The perfume that sat on the shelf for years and disappeared.
The slippers that were returned.
The gifts that didn't make it.

and then the "You should have known I wanted ____" look.

Mother's Day used to be make a card day with some flowers picked from the garden. It was the thought that counts. But now it's become a make or break day for a Father. Mom wants respect, and I'm on the hot seat to provide it.

I gave up.

Gift card from Kohl's and the promise of babysitting while she went out with her mother and elder daughters for an afternoon of shopping.

Oh, and I used that American Greetings site to help the little kids make cards for Mom. Glad school came through and the local grocery store had flowers to "pick".

So it ended up OK this year.

I'm blogging this so I don't forget it for next year.

Father Pain

There is an almost ten year gap between two of my children. I can see the results of my parenting of the older and choose to handle the younger a different way. Why would I want to do that?

Father Pain.

I've heard about the importance of telling your children you love them, of the value of touch (hugs), and many other ways to let your kids know you find them important in the world. But I didn't do them very well the first go around. I see my communication strained, the inner need for contact unmet, and I am cut off from some very important decisions. That causes me pain as I see the hard lessons going to be made harder because my influence is less than it could be.

After the ten years and the next child came along I found it was a different experience. I wanted to be a part of this child, if they would let me. Then I chose to be a part even if they didn't particularly want me. I hugged, listened, hung up my cell phone when an eager face with a bug showed up in the office. I lingered at the bedside to hear prayers and share a warm hug. I kissed chubby cheeks. I learned.

My pain is different now. To lead a child to self discipline is hard, but more so when you have so much more invested in the relationship. It is a good side of Father Pain, the growing side.

I think I'll try this with my elder kids now.

Welcome

Round one of my intersection. I'll try to relate my understanding of Christianity with culture at large and culture at small.

I'm in sales, and have written several pieces concerning how a sales rep who is a Christian has some unique challenges. Those will go up in due time.

I am also a family man. Same wife, first wife, loved wife.

How does it all fit together? I try to make it work, sometimes yes, sometimes no. Let start the journey and find out.

D