Growing

Sometimes "No" is a reality moment.

Most of the time "No" is a terribly difficult word to say.

How much does our desire to be liked, admired, and in touch interfered with the need to say "No"? Way too often.

Today I said "No, I would prefer that that not happen." It meant I had to break an assumption about something as simple as storage.

Crap accumulates. Breeds. Flourishes in the absence of tragedy (such as pitching pieces that are obsolete, obnoxious, and unusable). Like "The Blob" it grows and takes things over. Like the garage.

I like a little clear space in the garage. Well, a lot of clean space. I build cabinets to store as much as possible out of sight. Check out the pick of what I expect things to look like, and then what happens just to one shelf when left alone...

Nope, I don't want 30 cubic feet of "that special find that I can use or sell sometime somewhere down the line." No, I don't want an extra transmission for a car you might want in the future. No, I don't want to store stuff. I don't want to buy stuff. I don't want to be the family garage holding tank. And I don't want to pay for a place to store the stuff either. No.

But... it stops the dreams and ideas of my child. He sees opportunity and I'm in his way. That kinda hurts, both of us.

Or does it define the need for him to have a life separate from the family, to truly be on his own. Is it a goad to prod him to grow, risk, try the very things that will be good for him in the future.

And that is why the "No" is important... even if it comes to something as simple as making room for a "find" in the garage.

There will be a time and place for him to accumulate the stuff. For now, I can't handle the crap and need him to follow through on the growing up before he can manage it on his own terms.

Tough, but I had to learn the same lesson with my 1978 era stereo with the big monster speakers at home and at college. How loud, where you gonna put that thing, seriously, don't play that thing so loud when I'm studying!

I'm smiling now, it's a good growing up moment.