Gotcha Day?

Grinch here. 

There seems to be a trend of celebrating "Gotcha Day" with adoptive families. That's the day of the introduction of a new child to their "forever family". I suppose its a day that is meant to be filled with promise and joy.

Well it may be for the adoptive family, but how can it be seen the same way by the child? 

Adoption may be beautiful in the big picture. Onlookers see it as such. That poor child, can't stay with their parents and have to be placed with the next set of parents... 

Let's face it, children placed in adoptive families are often birthed to dysfunctional parents who may or may not be involved in the life of the child ever again. Each child has their own story, even within sibling groups. And rarely are the stories clean. 

From the child's viewpoint the parent(s) they have known are no more. Yes, the pain of living with them may be gone, but still constant dysfunction is their normal. Peace and quiet without threat is so out of the ordinary that many create chaos so that the situation feels right! The child's environment changes drastically. The child's food changes drastically. The attention the child gets changes drastically. The physical attention the child receives changes drastically. The language, tone and force of the voices used to communicate with them changes drastically. Gotcha day can only bring back those memories and cause a key question I've heard: "Just how bad were my birth parents?"

Gotcha Day is a nightmare from a child's perspective. 

That's why we don't, and won't, emphasize the day of adoption. We will celebrate the day of birth, for that is a day that was blessed regardless of condition. It is the day that God saw fit to bring a new life to fruition. That was a day God smiled with a tear of knowing that the short term pain would end in a much better place than the child was born into. That was a day filled with wonder and joy in the heavens because this was a new opportunity to love.

And we are the beneficiaries of that blessing, entrusted to us to love, nurture and guide as best we can. But I cannot imagine celebrating the horrible disruption that causes a child to be placed forever away from its birth parents.  Told ya, total grinch today.